What’s Wrong with Boundaries?

Boundaries. A very popular and well-known word in counseling and psychotherapy, usually having a positive connotation. People are encouraged by psephologists to have boundaries, in all good faith. However, my spiritual perspective is different from this mainstream line of defense.

Boundaries inherently are weak. They suggest they are on the periphery and could be breached anytime should the army attacking them from outside outnumber us. Maintaining boundaries is a mental exercise, which consumes tremendous energy. Also, very few people are able to keep one-sided boundaries. Usually, when they put mental boundaries, they also close themselves off from the world beyond the boundary. The word suggests that our soul is a weakling, trying to hide in a fortress, far away from the touch of life.

Although set in good intentions, boundaries limit our connection and engagement with the world. What I prefer instead is one getting enough enlightenment to start flowing through life like water. Not avoiding anything, but never stopping anywhere, keep moving and completing the life cycle.

So if my students ask, I will tell them that forget about boundaries, be boundary-less, and like water that keeps flowing around obstructions and hurdles. So keep flowing through life like a river. Don’t put too many boundaries around you, otherwise, they will cut you off from the flow of life and turn you into a small, stagnant pool.